As you all know, I don’t take shit off of anyone. And if I am inclined to take shit, it is because it is for my survival. This is on the street and in corporate spaces.
Last week, while teaching one of my students said that one of the reasons why he and others have to categorize gender queer folks is that there is an issue of predator or prey, and if he can’t categorize something, he may be inclined to attack it.
I responded saying, that is interesting, because if I encounter someone who is gender queer, of a race a can’t identify I say, hey how you doing and mind my business. This now has me thinking about the relationship between fear and violence for marginalized bodies.
Me not taking shit matters because of the ways in which men, mostly Black fix their faces to talk to me an Goldy in public. I give resentments, I don’t get them, peace to Daddy for the advice.
These means these negro’s roll up, and ask us “Is there a party nearby” when they know damn well, that LIV is upstairs and is a U street staple for party’s and that it has been on that corner for nearly what, 30 years?
This means that earlier this year, we are both sitting on a Monday night watching a game and this negro comes up and asks if we are together. I was like Nigga, if you don’t get the fuck up out my face, and where is YOUR wife? This isn’t to say that men have not said or done out of pocket shit to OTHER men when I was out to them, but this was flagrant and egregious.
OR, it is like being at a space that I post up at on Friday’s and having a dude ASK me if I want to dance, and I am like nah gina, I am cool. Then asking me if I am going to embarrass him like that by letting him go back to his homies dance free. (Negotiating Black men’s masculinity performances in dance spaces be requiring a 9 and the patience of Job). I was like, nah, you came over here, I was minding my own Black girl business. He then looks at her who as across the room, and says “Well I am going to ask her then”. I said, “Try it, and see how far you get.”
This is not to say that men NEVER acted out of pocket towards me when I was out with other men, because they did. The difference now, is that the gender binary as been disrupted so rather than me being treated as an object, people just say shit. My immediate jawn is why in the fuck are you talking to me because I am not fucking with you, and you don’t want me to fuck with you because East Oakland says #escalate and that shit is bad for my blood pressure and skin. o.0
This means a woman I know makes a joke about “the gay dude at work” that she doesn’t know what do with him because he is so flamboyant. I am thinking to myself, say good morning in the morning, and good night at night. Where he chooses to put his penis ain’t none of your business unless it is going inside of YOU then it is your business. Boom gina.
So yeah, the racialized violence of homophobia is the devil when people don’t understand how to leave you the fuck alone, and when you insist on being treated as a human being.